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The Vogon Poets Society

The Virtual Containment Unit for Condemnable Poetry

Posting Access:
All Members , Moderated
Poetry, well written, can be a spiritually uplifting experience. Badly written, it can be an experience of buttock-clenching horror.

The third worst poetry in the universe is written by Vogons, and frequently used as a form of torture.
--Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Hello and welcome to the Vogon Poets Society. The Society is centred upon the desire to write Painful Poesy: Poems so horribly bad that they cause cancer in lab rats, crippling pain and terror, and publication in MLA poetry anthologies. Such bad poetry takes a certain flair for the cruel and sadistic, and the rhythm deaf. And such poetry will make the Society millions of dollars in military contracts.

Please do not post mediocre poetry. And please do not post light-hearted poetry. We only want the worst. The absolute bottom-of-the-barrel sludge of modern poetry. Scrape it up, chip it off, and throw it at this community. We double dog dare you. No--we triple dog dare you. Sissy boy! N'yah n'yah!!!!!

The Society is chaired by John J. O'Sullivan, noted Bad Poet, misanthropist, and pastry chef. All judgments concerning the terror-inspiring nature of any piece of poetry will be made by him. Also, if he does receive a government subsidy to develop your poem into a weapon, he promises to share the money with you. Trust us.


Anyone who posts Vogon Poetry from the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy will be publicly lambasted as being terminally lame. In fact, we will have poetry contests dedicated to mocking anyone who quotes from Guide. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

All that being said, welcome to the Society, and may you do your worst!

John J. O’Sullivan
Executive Chairman, The Vogon Poets Society